Wtf I must be cursed

Hi girls

Haven't posted on here in ages, been dealing with a lot of things from a loss and a breakup, to then a new relationship that was a bad idea from the start, the corona lockdowns and then developed some fairly serious health issues...

Everything has been a bit much

No longer trying but kept the app to track periods

So here's what happened

I am cursed

After breaking up with lets call him "R" in August 2019, I decided to stay well away from guys for a while and get my head straight and focus on myself for a while

Right around the time I was finally starting to feel ready to get back out there, the lockdowns started happening and that was the end of that 😅

I stopped caring about sex/relationships/trying to meet anyone and basically all but gave up

Now

I have this "guy friend" who we'll call "E" who I've been friends with since forever and last night we were drinking and one thing led to another and well... Yeah

First time since August 19 🤣🤣

I was worried my virginity was gonna grow back 🤣 (that's a joke, I know that can't happen lol)

Anyway, we're right in the middle of sex, and he starts dropping the L word like a lot a lot and I'm thinking first "is this some sort of like, confession? Of like secret feelings? Wtf" but didn't say anything and he kept repeating it

So now I'm thinking "wow he must be really into this 🤣, I didn't think I was this good at sex"

And then

He called me

The wrong

Name

Twice.

So he tried to play it off as "she's just a friend" blah blah blah, obviously I'm having none of it.... Wasn't for making a huge deal about it initially as last night was a one time thing, but the second time I was like

"okay, no, whoooo the fuck is this girl"

(cuz he is single, there's no "secret girlfriend" for him to go behind anyones back)

So

It turns out that she's his friends girlfriend and he's secretly in love with her, so much so that he can't get MY name right while I'm on top of him with my boobs in his face 🙃

When we have been friends for SIXTEEN YEARS 🤔

Like

I'm definitely cursed

What are the odds of that happening my first time getting it in almost 2 years?

Like

Do I just give up now altogether or what?

We probably will stay friends but there will definitely be no more "rolling around the hay" with that one, it'll just be awkward for a while... I mean giving up in a more sweeping and general sense lol

I've about hit my limit with the amount of shit I have had to put up with