“Because you’re a woman”

My husband has this bizarre idea that positive encounters or things that happen in my life are because I am a woman. This is less the case if something bad has happened to me so it’s pretty fortune focused.

My husband has a hard time expressing himself and often confuses his ppl even if he is just ordering fast food. He will trip over his words or repeat himself and the person fast food worker will ring him up for all the things he repeated. That’s just an example. At work (a job he used to have), his supervisor once asked him to put water in the plastic bags for everyone. It was labor job, mind you and hot outside. My husband opened the water bottles and poured water into the grocery bags. This is because the supervisor said “water” and not “water bottles”. My husband also gets frustrated easily if ppl don’t understand him or if something isn’t working out. He has no diagnosis and aside from that kinda stuff he’s just fine. That being said, I myself am pretty well spoken and articulate. When navigating business, I am clear about what I need. I’m pretty patient and level headed, at least that’s what I’ve been told by others.

Now when things work out for me or ppl understand me, my husband says it’s because I am a woman. Not because of my many other attributes that other people and myself seem to notice. It’s simply because I am a woman and therefore men and women will treat me better. I think that is a bit insulting because I haven’t always had things easy, I learn and work and navigate for what I have and have had. It’s not because I have a vagina it’s because of who I am as a person.

I get that in some instances I may have some sort of Black Woman Privilege. But on the whole it kinda hurts that he casts everything on me being a woman and that’s the reason I have success in certain areas.

UPDATE: Yeah actually he doesn’t have autism. That was my first thought because I would totally understand if that was the case. Ive known him for 13 years and he wasn’t always this way, however he has seen doctors and counselors before but we know he doesn’t have Autism or ADHD. Some of his life experiences have made him less confident, volatile, and angry.