My sister is gay, what do I do?

Question

Hi. I’m 16 years old. My sister is 11. She has a lot of mental health issues. She was molested. She has depression from it. She is very sad for an 11 year old and is very angry all the time. My mom bought her an iPad in December. Since then, she’s been worse. She won’t leave the house, take showers, or anything so she can be on her iPad. My mom has to force her to go to therapy. She screams and cries. My mom thinks she might be talking to a weirdo on the iPad on discord. Today I got nosy, learned her password and went through it. She talks to several people and has come out as bisexual to them and that she is a furry. She tells them she absolutely hates us. My mom does everything for her, literally everything. She says my mom is horrible and homophobic. My mom isn’t horrible to gay people, but she doesn’t like if for herself. But I don’t care if you are gay, I just don’t care. Let people be themselves. She also said she wants to kill her self, but is too scared to do it. What the heck do I do???? 
On one hand, I can keep it to myself and let this depression from being in the closet eat her up.
On the other I can tell my mom.
Or I can wait for her to tell her, but my sister is threatening to kill herself.
Please help I need it

Accepted Answer

Tell your mom and tell your sisters therapist. Get that iPad away from her. Chances are the people she talks to aren’t nice people and are encouraging her behaviour.

Answer

There’s not much we can do here hun, she needs to go see a psychiatrist if she’s acting like this. It sounds like she has a personality disorder

Answer

Even if your mom isn’t homophobic. Her not accepting your sister can really affect her badly and maybe it means a lot to her. The fact that she said furry makes me think that she saw it somewhere. Her being bisexual is predictable, but come on furry??? Take that iPad away a creep probably told her about it.

Answer

hey i have a little sister who was like this at that age & never went to therapy and it progressed to the point where she is 15 and in a psych ward. i cannot tell you what to do but i advise you to please take the ipad from her as it seems the people she’s talking to are enabling these issues & get her into intensive therapy if you can. she will thank you later in life ♡

Answer

Tell your mom. I really hate to say this, but her threatening to kill herself is so serious, I think she needs to see more than a therapist. “Psych ward” is a harsh and scary term, but I think it’s necessary. She needs help. She’s been through a lot, she’s trying to figure out who she is and she’s afraid of rejection for being who she is. 
Has she like officially came out to you or your mom? If not, then how would she know what your moms reaction would be? I think she’s scared that your mom will disown her— I think it’s like that for a lot of young kids who are afraid to come out. The best thing that you can do is be supportive of her and who she becomes. It’s important for everyone— even a kid, no, especially a kid young as her, to know that no matter their sexuality, appearance, or whatever, that they are loved for who they are. 
I think most kids go through the “I hate my siblings, I hate my parents, I hate my life” stage. She’s been through trauma, and she’s lashing out to her family because that’s all she can do. And I don’t think this therapist is working for her. She may need medication if she’s depressed to the point that she doesn’t want to leave the house or shower or eat. 
All you can do is be there for her. Find something to bond with her over and try to make a connection. It’ll be hard, relating to a preteen is hard in general, but relating to a preteen that’s been through hardships we’ll never understand is even harder. Just be there to lend an ear, be supportive, be someone she wants to hang out with and confide in.

Answer

Suicidal thoughts are not healthy. I would express to your mom and your sister’s therapist that you have reason to believe she is having suicidal thoughts but don’t want her to know how you found out. She definitely needs to continue therapy to help her work through her anger and everything else she’s going through because someone violated her. There’s nothing wrong with her being gay or furry. Be supportive when she comes out to you. 
She’s your sister, your choices are get her help even if it means she may be mad or let her continue to have suicidal thoughts that can lead to actual suicide. You’re in a tough spot but doing the right thing isn’t always easy.

Answer

I’m sorry you’re going through this, I’m 17 and my sister is 12 and I couldn’t imagine what I would do in that situation. I definitely blame the iPad for this, it sounds like she took her newly found internet access in a wrong direction. 
I think what I would do is tell your mom that you are worried that she is not in a good mental space environment right now and that you think the iPad is the cause. Then ask about therapy

Answer

Give your sister your support. She feels like she doesn't have anyone to talk to in her life (even though she goes to therapy), so she needs to know that you love her unconditionally and that she can talk to you about these things. Once that rapport has been built, then you can work with her on telling your mom. But coming out should be something SHE does, not something you do for her. 
You can speak with her therapist about it, but if she's not being open with her therapist about these things, then she doesn't trust them for whatever reason (maybe she's afraid that they'll talk to your mom, or have her committed, or maybe the therapist is just a d!ck). She needs someone she can trust, and you're in the best position to be that person.

My sister is gay, what do I do?

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