Will I ever recover?

I am 5 days postpartum and I had a terrible delivery. I had 3 tears and an episiotomy (all 2nd degree) and I feel like my muscles won’t tighten, I worry about being unable to control my bowels... Is this normal? I find myself constantly going to the bathroom to make sure I don’t have to poop.. this is becoming so upsetting and I can’t do anything but worry about going to the bathroom.. I feel like I have no muscle control and not very much sensation. Did anyone else experience this? Did it get better on its own?