Can someone help me..?

I have been feeling depressed lately and today I been having suicidal thoughts because enough is enough I been depressed for 16 years yet I am only 21...

There are beauty standards which are unrealistic because of all the filters and photoshops, I always felt ugly ever since. I badly want to change few things on my body, there are health conditions such as: I broke my nose when I was 6 but didn't went to a doctor so it closed up my breathing, I can't even talk normal and I want to change it's look a little bit. Then there are my breasts, I have huge amount of cyst ever since I was 7 years old, they are getting lower and lower with so much skin crack, I want them removed and replaced with implants. I can't take of my bra ever since they are so heavy and I have scoliosis. I swore if I can't get them fixed any time soon I will never face a human being ever again but I am way too broke for any of this.

I have a boyfriend, who can get hard to girls over internet, porns and etc but when it comes to us being intimate his hardness just dies in a second, I am not even joking, takes only one second and every time he says that it is his fault, that he should see a doctor about it or says he is just nervous even says he is afraid he is too short that he can't reach the end and it just doesn't feel right. Every time it is something new... yet there are more excuses I didn't wrote about.

When I give him a BJ he is hard every time but when he is in me he goes soft instantly, I feel awful, just f*cking awful. I am afraid to be intimate with him, I just give his BJ and go on with my day heart broken, I am never satisfied, never...

What the hell is wrong with him? Or am I too unattractive..?