Baby fever

I have been wanting a baby since I was 17. 😭😭😭 I just feel like it’s one of my purposes in life, I’ve always been the “mom” friend. I also love babies sooooo much 😭😭😭 they’re like human kittens, so innocent and precious and fill us with love and joy

but obviously I wouldn’t do it, because I needed to ensure that I could take care of myself, let alone another human being. I’m also career oriented and haven’t been giving any time for dating or relationships.. because I want to ensure that me and my future actual kids are comfortable. I say actual, because I treat everyone who’s younger than me as my child.

And now I’m 25, I have just recently gotten a full-time job and I’m scared my biological clock is ticking and I haven’t found anyone that I want to have kids with yet 😞😞😞 I’m suddenly finding all men around me super attractive and charming to the point I’m scared that my judgement is blurred now by my hormones

I have friends who are 22 and 23 and are married and have babies 🥺 they’re so cuuuuttee. 💕💕😭 I want that for myself. They complain about how difficult it is, and I bet it is, but it doesn’t bother me. I just want a baby. 😭😭😭😭 and this urge gets intense depending on my cycle and the phase of the moon

I don’t know what to do.. do I marry my job and focus on it or do I start actively searching for a potential partner? And how do people go by and find their partners? Especially during Covid? How do people meet? How do they feel certain that they’re making the right choices?

Will I ever find my baby’s dad? Is there a pill or a vaccine for baby fever? That would at least distract me from being sooo obsessed. Do I get a cat? Is it the same thing?