Sex drive + another question

Sooo I need some advice on how I can up my sex drive. By a lot. I don't want to talk to a doctor because it is so awkward for me (everything is on zoom calls so makes it even more awkward) but I have no sex drive at all, even to the point I thought I was asexual. I know I'm not because I want a sex life.

Anyways I have major hate for my body, and some not so great things that happened when I was young. All past sexual experiences I had were all bad 🤦🏼‍♀️ I know that is part of the problem on why I don't have a sex drive at all. I don't date or even talk to guys because of past experiences.

Also I just recently started texting a guy, which I am so so nervous. I'm awkward I don't know what kind of things to say because I've never been in a relationship, all guys ever want to do is have sex and I'm not about that. I want to be in a relationship so bad but its hard.

Advice for one or both of these topics would be great!! TIA