I literally cannot keep my current eating habits anymore - I essentially eat almost all junk food. As such, I am now over 250lb. I feel gross and am so ashamed of myself that I cant even leave the house, except for appointments I cant have my partner go to for me. I am so disgusted with my body that I cant even look into a mirror...its like in my head I picture myself as thinner but when I go to look in a mirror, I dont recognize myself. I hate this. I dont need to be super skinny, but. I'd like to be healthy. I'd like to be able to fit into the clothes I want to wear and go outside and do things I want to do. I cant find clothes my size, and if I do the style doesnt represent who I am at all. I wont take pictures because it gives me anxiety, and this kills me because I have almost no pictures of me with my 5 month old son. I'm scared when he gets older he will be ashamed of how big I am.

I want to change, but i dont know how. I eat huge portions, and eat fast. And while things may taste good I feel like I dont truly enjoy it. I feel lethargic and tired all the time, so it feels impossible to get moving. It also feels futile.

I know I have to make lifestyle changes - permanent changes. But how long will it take me to lose weight in a healthy manner?

I've been thinking about starting Keto because I mainly eat carbs and I feel like crap whenever I eat carbs. Can someone tell me how to start a keto diet, or have any resources on how to shop at the grocery store for it?

Any advice/guidance would be appreciated. I would see a dietitian, but I dont have the money for one.