Idk what to do

So my husband is a bit depressed and i understand I struggle with it too i am better now But We have been struggling in our marriage (9years) with a number of things but the main thing i am struggling with is he talks to me like i am a friend to him (using words like “i like hanging with you and can never tell me how he feels) and he wants more sex (we have sex 2x a week sometimes 3. i also work full time and handle the house and kids) and when i tell him how much i am in love with him and how he makes me feel he can never say it back to me and he will say “im just so tired idk how to feel” we also went away this weekend without the kids and i thought he would maybe take that time to show me how he feels (because i have been begging for reassurance) but instead he asked if we should find another girl to sleep with this weekend. (We are not opened but have talked about it but the timing was horrible the week before he asked we were sleeping separately) I was shocked and made me feel like he doesnt care about me or my feeling he has yet to reassure me that he is still in love with me but still insists on sex. Im sorry if this is all over the place im so lost on what to do i want to be with him but the feeling of being unwanted and that he doesnt care about my feelings is getting in the way of us fixing things. I feel used by him.