My REAL first time

Heyy I just want to share my story on my real first time. I say real because losing my virginity was a production of rape when I was 18. I recently just had my first consensual time of having sex at 21 and it was better than I ever thought. All this time I’ve associated sex with pain but when you do it with someone who you actually trust and you’re very comfortable with them, it is an amazing feeling. It’s actually crazy because I was the one who initiated everything, even putting him inside me (tmi, I know but it’s just amazing to see how far I’ve come) lol. I am still working on myself everyday to not allow my trauma to take over. I may even do an exercise with my guy and allow him to use handcuffs and blindfold when I’m ready because two of my scars from my trauma is control and trust issues. I just wanted to share for anyone who has been through any sexual abuse that sex isn’t supposed to be like that. Find a man that adores you and TAKE YOUR TIME.