I’m just having a really rough day today. Even though I’m only 7dpo and it’s too early to determine for sure, I just know we didn’t get pregnant this cycle. I can feel it. It’s especially hard this month because my husband’s grandmother is in the hospital. I’m extremely close to his very tight knit family. In fact, I’d consider my MIL my best friend. His grandmother is 83 and we just found out she has a (noncancerous) tumor in her pancreas. With so many complications relating to the size and location as well as her age, there is very little they can do for her. She is in a lot of pain and all they can do is give her more and more medication. COVID restrictions also means we can’t go see her, only my MIL and my husbands grandfather are allowed. It’s been over a week now. She already has dementia on top of this and it just hurts knowing that chances are, she’ll never meet our child. It’s so hard to want a baby so badly and struggle with reality that there are family members they may not be around when it finally happens. I’ve been crying all day with all of this going on (thanks PMS for your PERFECT timing...). I just needed to be able to vent because no one knows we are trying yet and I certainly don’t want to tell all this to my husband, especially if it’s not something he has realized or thought about. This shit sucks.