The best ME, I can be.......

So I'm looking 4 help, examples, advice, maybe things 2 try???

• So I have alot of anger issues...I've tried anger management,Journaling & counting,even breathing.... I get really really depressed sometimes because I feel like I'm going 2 be that 1 girl who every1 knows is always angry, has something 2 say, can't control herself, people are scared of, I dont have any girl friends at that any really friends because I am a very blunt person & LITERALLY always tells the truth 2 questions..

So they get offended, or feel that they can't talk 2 me, even scared 2 tell me certain things because they don't know how I am going 2 act, I get angry.....then 💥 I'm seeing red/black & do things I'm not proud of,Recently I got into it with a neighbor who I was walking away from....than called me fat which I dont care....than called my boyfriend fat...which he's a bigger boy & a bit sensitive....I just turned around & saw red...I ended up tossing her up & after I came back home(inside) I sat there as my boyfriend is telling me wat he saw thru his eyes....I say there & felt bad about the situation & I went & apologize 2 her & told her I accept my consequences(wit 12), She said thank u,that it says alot about wat kind of person I am, So we will say "Hi" here & there, Or we stay out eachothers way....That is just an example of my anger...I'm trying 2 figure out wat things I can do differently??? I just started 2 work out at home doing small routines....I want 2 try meditation...but I dont know where 2 start??? If any 1 knows of Self-Help stuff or workbooks/Sheets??? I am trying 2 find who I am again after being clean from 10yrs+ of herion/meth/etc... addiction, I lost myself & I don't know where 2 start? I don't want 2 grow old & be a mean,old bitter,lonely B***h, I cry because I want 2 be happy inside & out & don't know wer 2 begin?? I have had tried therapy 4 trauma & sex addiction..well I've made progress in sex...in trauma not so much & anger not so much....also most the time I already know wat they are going 2 tell & etc....So I feel like a HOTT a** mess & I'm everywhere 🤯😟😕 So if any1 has ANY suggestions or anything that cud help me please leave me a comment...I'm open 2 everything, even constructive criticism 😊🙏🏽

THANK U SOOOOOOOO MUCH & HAV A BLESSED DAY.

♥️E.P