Is saying something rude ever an okay “joke”?

My husband and I are is an argument because I’m getting tired of his shit. He says things that are just rude as hell all the time and then when I obviously get mad he just says “omg, you really can’t take a fucking joke”. Every time I tell him it’s not funny, I’m obviously going to get upset if you say something upsetting, even if you “mean it as a joke” it’s still not a fucking joke or something people go around joking about, obviously I’m not gonna pick up on your hateful ass “joke”. Then tells me I always have a bad attitude and start a fight, when I said I wasn’t even trying to fight, I’m just tired of being talked down too and being told it’s a joke. And he goes “Fine, I’ll take responsibility, it was MY fault, because you can never admit that your wrong”. I’m starting to think my husband is a fucking narcissistic.