What do you do when you parent completely different from your spouse?

Question

My husband and I are on two different worlds. 
He spanks. I do not and I don’t agree with it. So many people just say “leave him” but that doesn’t solve anything because when our son visits him, he’s still going to spank him. I feel like there’s nothing I can do.

Answer

You don't have a child with someone you don't agree with on parenting. You need to talk about children and how you want to raise your children BEFORE getting married and having kids.

Answer

One thing that really bugs me about my husband and I's parenting. When one of the children gets hurt under our supervision he gets mad at me like it's my fault. The other day my son was under my husband's supervision while I was making them their lunch and my little one busted his eyebrow open on the coffee table. And did I get mad at my husband? No s*** happens kids hurt themselves. But oh if I'm watching them and one hurts themselves it's all my fault and he gets mad at me. Definitely not okay this is probably one of the biggest things that bugs me when it comes to our parenting.

Answer

You need to have a serious talk with him about it and how hitting doesn't teach him anything. How can you think yelling and hitting a child will make them learn? The only thing they learn is to be afraid of you and if you want you children to be afraid of you. You're a garbage parent.

Answer

i suggest maybe going to talk to someone about it if you feel like you and him cannot have a productive conversation about the issues. 
this is also why i think it’s so important for people to talk to each other about these things before a baby happens. 😑 
you had enough love to marry each other and to bring a baby into this world. divorcing over spanking?! have a conversation. talk it out. work it out. although it is a big issue for you, i have confidence in you that you can find a solution! best of luck to you! 💗

Answer

Something like physical punishment is not a difference that I could tolerate and would have been a conversation before even having the baby. Now that the baby exists, it needs to be a conversation now. I would also suggest some type of counseling.

Answer

Maybe marriage counseling or family therapy? (I don’t know what the best route would be)
But someone that could help you guys talk about you parenting styles or feelings out each others ways?

Answer

I’d have a sit down conversation and come to an agreement and compromise. Don’t expect to change his mind. Honestly, this conversation should have happened before kids (or marriage).

Answer

My fiancé has a quick fuse, as does my toddler. So when one of them gets upset it sets the other off… it’s like having two toddlers. My fiancé is okay with spanking. I am not. But we both agreed to not spank because I am a firm believer it teaches nothing. I also discipline/home more so I know what is more effective for the kids after trial & error, so he just tries the techniques I do. 
He also has a love language of gift giving. Omfg. Drives me nuts he is constantly bringing them home toys or treats. Every once in a while completely fine, but we’ve had to have the discussion of  toning it down soooo many times. & bribing the children to listen 😂, not a fan. Where as I just give verbal praise/high fives & it actually tends to work better lol

What do you do when you parent completely different from your spouse?

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