What do you think?

Question

So I’ve been feeling quite down lately - I stopped smoking and went on antidepressants and put on some weight over the past year. I feel so unhappy with the way I look right now and although I’m not huge, I feel it. My friend knows exactly how I’ve been feeling. But recently she lost a lot of weight and she keeps sending me photos of herself looking amazing. I tell her she looks good but it’s beginning to really feel quite insensitive of her and I’m not sure how to cope with it anymore. For example yesterday I felt really down and this morning she messaged me saying good morning how are you feeling today? Followed by a photo of herself 👀 on top of that I’ve been having problems with my partner and feel quite unhappy and she was in a bad place with her husband for many years until literally a couple months ago. She tells me to leave my partner and gives advice that she never even took herself and it’s so annoying. Just because she’s happier now, its like she’s totally forgotten the bad. If that makes sense?

Answer

your problems are not her responsibility. She shouldn't have to change or keep her confidence to herself to coddle you. instead of being upset, take the initiative and change everything you don't like about yourself/your life

Answer

Tbh it may be worth a break from this friend, idk, toxic positivity isn’t helpful to anyone. 
Idk, either that or ask her to go to the gym with you? I hate having to be places like that alone and would love a friend that would be capable of showing me some things and be there for me. I wonder if some of her problem is that she wants to help you feel more confident and happy but doesn’t know how to do that? If someone hasn’t had a supportive person in their life (esp. on weight IMO) I think it’s a bit of a guessing game on what would actually help.

Answer

You are your own person don’t compare yourself to other women because who knows if what they show is even true. You want to make changes for yourself when you are ready to. Nothing is impossible things can improve sometimes just taking small steps at a time can help begin change.

Answer

Antidepressants can often times cause weight gain. Which seems counter productive, right? 😆 I would suggest talking with your prescriber about possibly charging to something else OR having added support in the form of a dietician and nutritionist. Very often they'll do the latter if other than weight gain you're responding well to the medication. While your friend doesn't need to coddle you, you can be honest about how you feel. Many people don't realize how damaging little things can be to someone struggling. So we need to advocate for ourselves sometimes. It's hard. You can write her a letter or text if you can't do it face to face. Be gentle but honest. Just remember to not blame them for it ("I feel like shit because you xyz"), just ask for support in the form of changed behavior ("I would really like it if we limit pictures of people's bodies because I'm struggling with my self image and need time to heal from this. So if you want to send a selfie that's fine but maybe run it by me first to see where I'm at that day") Setting boundaries is a healthy part of any and all relationships. You have every right to do this with EVERYONE. You need to protect and care for yourself and sometimes that's the way to do it. Best of luck and I hope it works out

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