I can't make love to my wife

I'm in therapy right now and my wife told me I should try to get some emotions out by possibly telling others who havr bern through what I've been through, but not telling them who I am. Me and my wife haven't successfully made love in a year. I went out with friends to a club. It was 18+ because I was 19 at the time. I was married but still in my party stage. My wife was fine with me going and having fun with friends. My friends has also snuck me some liquor. I went to the bathroom to piss. I don't remember much after using the bathroom. I remember washing my hands and then nothing... I woke up in the hospital. Some guy had found me in the bathroom passed out. My head was bleeding and so was my ass. I got my head smashed on the sink. Being told I was raped messed me up. My rectum was in pain for weeks. I got a few stitches. The police couldn't do much because I didn't remember anything and the club's cameras weren't working. Having to get a rape kit done on me was the most embarrassing, invasive thing I ever did. Then having to talk to all this people.... I refused to go to therapy fit a few months but I've had a therapist for a bit now... Me and my wife haven't had sex in a year because I can't. But we tried... First few times I cried like a pussy during fore play... Last time we actually made it to sex... But I felt her accidentally graze my ass and I had this flash back.. Like I was back in the bathroom washing my hands and seeing a figure in the bathroom. Its like I almost saw their face... Then I panicked and again cried and I felt my wife hold me... I'm letting her down... She's gone a year without making love and I can't put my feelings aside to please her and I feel awful...