AM I THE ONLY ONE? NO JUDGMENT

Question

I have two kids one is 6 the other is 2, and I am pregnant due in November. Lately I have been feeling like I need to choose between watching my children like a hawk or getting stuff done. Because my in laws seem to have a problem with me leaving them for five minutes to do something. 
I'm sorry but how in the hell am I supposed to get anything done if I can't let my eyes off my kids? I mean seriously? 
If I'm doing the dishes I make sure to get them set up with a movie or toys. And I keep an ear out for trouble, but in the end they are bound to get into something. Same thing with doing laundry or taking the trash out or watering the garden or birds (we have chickens). We were at a birthday party one time and my mil was mad at me because I 'didn't know where my kids were the entire time' Um yes I did...They were playing with all the other kids. Not one single parent was just sitting there watching their kids every move. I let them play in the fenced in back yard by themselves and check on them every five minutes. Just because it isn't 100% safe. They don't Iike that either. 
My question is...What on earth am I supposed to do?
I feel like the obvious answer is to just do my best to do both. I mean realistically I have to clean house and cook and take care of them. But if they are going to get mad at me every time I do that where does that leave my options? 
I want honest responses but please but don't be cruel. I am willing to admit I am doing something wrong if that is the case. I just know that my parents never had their eyes on me every second of every day. Just like I know my in-laws didn't with my husband either because he nearly burned their house down playing with matches. 
I just want to know how to handle this? Do I just not do any housework housework tell them sorry I had to watch the kids? Or do I just tackle both?

Answer

You're doing fine. Kids need to learn a degree of autonomy and learn how to entertain themselves, and parents need to create time to handle adult responsibilities. 
Just keep telling yourself...you are doing fine. Say it sincerely and say it until you believe it. Make your own inner voice powerful enough to ward off any unnecessary and rude criticism from your in laws. And if that doesn't work, cut contact 🤷‍♀️ they don't have a right to guilt trip you about your parenting style.

Answer

Why does it matter what they think? Do they live with you or do you live with them? If that’s the case, then THEY can do housework while you watch your kids or you can do housework while THEY watch your kids.
If y’all don’t live together, WHY THE F DO YOU CARE WHAT THEY THINK?

Answer

Screw your in-laws' nosy opinion. Do what works for you. You can definitely have them in situations without direct supervision as long as they are safe. Its not like you are giving them knives and bleach and sending them off to the backyard on their own.

Answer

Tell them to fuck off

Answer

Honestly, just tell them to fuck off and keep their opinions to themselves. Who cares what they think? You sure as hell shouldn’t.

Answer

You cannot possibly keep an eye on both of them and achieve anything. Lock the doors, tv and snacks.... and get the housework done. They'll call if they need you or get stuck in something.

Answer

I have a 9yo, a 2.5yo and a 13mo.. I don’t have three sets of eyes, and I don’t watch them every moment because that’s just not achievable. I also work and pay a daycare to watch 2 of the 3 kids, and I don’t expect them to keep their eyes glued to my kids at all times. I do make sure they are always in a safe environment and they can’t truly harm themselves is I leave them for a few moments or am busy while they play elsewhere in the house. I adjust the safety protocol according to their age (so within my home, the 13mo isn’t allowed near stairs, water, or have the ability to pull anything heavy on herself and always plays with a sibling and gets frequent checks, whereas my 2.5yo can be trusted with some more awareness of his surroundings, and my 9yo has common sense on her side and is generally safe on her own terms). You adjust based on risk and what you know about your child and what they would do/try when unsupervised.
Your inlaws sounds like the type of people who will always feel superior and find fault in others.

Answer

You do you. Fuck them. The kids Can largely sort themselves out even if it doesn’t seem like it.

Answer

Meant to say No. as long as they are safe and not doing anything they aren’t supposed to do. Fuck them. My In laws will have so much to say. But I’m not going to listen to anything they have to say. Shit my fiancé’s mother abandoned him when he needed her the most to be with a crackhead. I don’t think she has much to criticize me about. So I think as long as you’re doing the great job you are doing you shouldn’t worry about what others have to say❤️

Answer

And I'm over here having my kid help me do all those things so I know he isnt getting into trouble 😂😂

AM I THE ONLY ONE? NO JUDGMENT

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