I’m just lost.

I’ve recently come to know that my SO is in to pegging.

It started out a conversation about regular sex, no interesting additions. Somehow M found himself divulging his lifelong desire to be “pegged.” He reveals that he has gotten himself sex toys to do the job, but would prefer that I do it.

Now, I have always known him to be a very traditional form of the idea of masculinity. He’s big, tall, strong, and macho. Lifts heavy weights, works hard, gets into fights (like a macho ass) drinks heavily, and is the type of man to take full control and dominate in the bedroom. These are some of my favorite things about him. I am partial to traditional gender roles, especially in the bedroom. I’ve always known him to be as well, so this is all new.

He claims he’s never done this action with dildos before, but I believe he is lying. I watched in confusion and utter discomfort as he penetrated himself effortlessly. I know this can’t be new based on that alone. He was so sure. I find it odd that he lied about that and I find it odd he’s kept this from me. I can assure everyone that I will never ever “peg” any man in my life. It will simply never happen. What another person does with their body is their choice, so I’d never tell him anything negative about his actions. I was completely out of the mood and wanted nothing to do with him sexually, but if I were his friend, I’d say have at it, enjoy your body. However, I don’t know that I can move forward with this marriage. I don’t know why I’m so bothered. I understand male anatomy and I know that the male “g spot” is accessed through the anus. I know that it increases sexual pleasure. I just cannot and will never be someone who will wear an artificial penis and ram it into my husbands ass. I would add, when he “finished” he licked his own penal secretions from his hand. I’ve never heard of anyone doing this in my life. Never seen him do it. If the pegging wasn’t enough, that did it. Today is my last day in this situation. I can’t seem to envision another option.