Guilty feelings

I'm 26 weeks with my rainbow baby and he's doing amazing but I'm not. My mental health has been trash and so has my physical health with almost no doctors willing to help me. My obgyn says alot of the physical problems I'm having should've been handled by my PCP or pain management team but neither will touch me. (I have hypermobile ehlers danlos and POTs) Being as my ligaments are already loose and I have no energy for pt everything just hurts so much all the time. I'm not going in there to ask for meds or anything I just want some help with either bracing or splints or something so I don't feel so horrible and like I'm falling apart all the time. Due to all this Ive ended up hating being pregnant and hating the way I feel all the time and I feel so so bad for hating it because everyone tells me I should be enjoying this when I haven't enjoyed anything except for my 12th week! I haven't been happy or healthy since and I just feel so bad because I know I should be happy because he's still here and crazy active all the time but I'm just not ok and not doing well. And of course on top of it all I have a cold now too and all I've done is sleep. I just don't know how to enjoy this, please don't judge me though I love my son more than anything but I'm just so miserable I pray for October to come quickly.