Am I right to be upset?

Question

My husband is a workaholic. I can count the amount of times he's home on time on one hand. On a Saturday, he can sometimes be home three hours after he finishes. He is not cheating, this has been a problem no matter where he's worked.
When it comes to him taking leave, it's always a fight. He prefers to be paid out for half his leave, and only take a week a year at most. But even the week he takes, he's in and out of work. Like he is supposed to be on leave this week, but yesterday he went in for the whole day almost (he went in at his usual time and was home an hour before their offices close). This morning he went in again normal time, it's now almost midday and he's still not home.
I get annoyed with him because I plan my leave around him. I can understand maybe one or two issues, but this is a recurring issue, every single time he takes leave. He gets angry at me because I don't understand, I don't get it, he has issues to sort out, etc. EVERY SINGLE Time. And every single time he's about to take leave, he says he's serious about staying at home and relaxing. 
Last night I asked him why did he bother telling me he was taking leave if he's just going to go in anyway, he must just do whatever he wants and not tell me anymore, he can be on his own mission. He says "as soon as I'm done sorting out this issue I'll take the rest of my leave". But he says this every time.
Am I right for being upset? I guess not because I fall for this every single time.

Answer

Yes I'd be upset too. I don't think it's a bad thing he's the way he is, by any means. There's people out there that refuse to get a job or keep a job. But he needs to remember his workplace would replace him, his family never could.

Answer

I couldn’t cope with someone like this. Stop planning your life round him. He is prioritising his job, not his life and definitely not the relationship. You need to do the same live your life without him. Do things with other people. 
He’s putting you on a back burner because he thinks that you’ll always be there waiting and that really isn’t on at all, you need to make him realise that you can have fun and do things without him.

Answer

Are you right to be upset? Yes and no. Yes, because you want a partner to spend time with and he's choosing to put work first, and that gets frustrating and can make you sad and upset. And, no, because you knew he was like this. This isn't a new thing for him to do and yet here you are, how many years later? Expecting him to change who he is and how he conducts his life.
I think this is worth sitting down and having a serious discussion together and try to reach a compromise but in the end, it may be *very* hard to get him to change this habit. Some people are just drive by their careers over all else.

Answer

He’s going to seriously regret this later.  My stepdad used to only take minimal time off.  He would work on weekends, skip family vacations to work, and bring work home all the time.  My mother (his wife) was murdered when she was 46.  Now, 10 years later, he constantly mentions how much he regrets missing time with his family for a job that never cared about him.  Time is precious.  You should try to find a way to get that through his head.

Answer

Absolutely! I’d be very upset. That leave is suppose to be your time together. It’s great that he has a strong work ethic and commitment to his job, but there needs to be limitations. He needs to make you a higher priority than his career, plain and simple. Jobs can come & go, but you’re always gonna be there for him. He needs to realize that before it’s too late.

Answer

If he dies his job would replace him so fast, it's very important to spend time with family to because your job isn't going to care about you like your family does.

Answer

He’s creating work environments that rely too much on him. Since this is a recurring problem no matter where he’s worked, that has to be the case. It’s not normal for work to interfere with time off. They should be leaving him alone and he should be ignoring any communications from them. There’s no excuse for him to go to work when he’s supposed to be off. His workplace is too reliant on him and he allows it. This could be a control issue for him.
Yea you’re right to be upset. There’s more to life than work.

Answer

My mom was like this for years, her days off she would go in just to get things done that she couldn’t during the week. About 20 years of doing that and she finally takes her days off and holidays off. She doesn’t ever take sick days or vacation days but hopefully soon she does that. She enjoys having her weekends off with her grandkids, if it wasn’t for them she would probably go into work.

Answer

I can understand but my husband works nights and that’s why it seems like he is working all the time to me. I would just sit down and talk to him about in a safe no yelling environment. Honestly tell him how you feel.

Am I right to be upset?

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