I don't know what to do at this point I feel like the crazy mom / partner...

I can feel myself getting depressed, my partner is back to working 6 days a week 12hr shifts and it's taking a toll on me.

I'm angry and jealous he gets to go to work and socialize with people face to face. I'm upset because I used to be the one that worked and supported us when it was just use and now I feel more like a nanny / maid.

I'm depressed because my only social interactions are through snaps and text, or my kids. I'm depressed because I spend my days cleaning up the same messes nonstop. I'm hurting because I feel like I'm living the same day over and over again.

I am on the verge of tears becuase I'm so angry that when my partner comes home all he wants to do is talk about work, and laugh about how funny his coworkers were. While he sits down to smoke.

I am tired of excusing myself to the bathroom to break down for 5 mins because I just wish he was that eager to come home complement the dinner I've made him at 3am and just wrap his arms around me and tell me he missed and loved me like he used to do when he worked any other job.

I'm feeling broken because I crave him to just lay next to me and watch a movie and him just hold me. But instead he picks up the phone and scrolls through it and then after 2 hrs heads to bed and ask me to rub his back for him, because he aches from working all day.

I could careless at not having sex, or at the fact that sex now just feel like it's a chore because if I ask he say how it makes him tired and he seems to want to be done as soon as he start.

All I want is to be held and loved. I've voiced this to him as well and even broken down about it a few times and he always says he will do better but never does.

I am depressed and most days I feel like someone else just going through the motions of what it's like to have a partner and kids. I do te cleaning, cooking, caregiving, I bath and tuck them into bed, clean again, and cook a meal for my partner, sit there in painful silence or sit through his replay of his day at work.

I just feel empty inside but also so full of emotions and they just keep coming out in tears and teeth gritting. I'm trying to stay calm and work through this myself but it's feeling impossible and I'm tired of feeling crazy