What the fuck have I done...

Just now learning that my daughter might go through opioid withdrawal when she is born because I'm on methadone. No one told me this. My doctor said it was best for me to stay on methadone. That its the best thing I can do for me and my baby. Now I'm laying here at 2:22 am, in full panic, crying... because I'm already a terrible mother. I have already failed my daughter. It's too late to abort. I don't think I could handle adoption. I'm not a bad person. I'm stable, I can care for her. It's just... fuck... im having a really bad time right now trying to wrap my head around this. Go ahead and judge me in the comments.

But before you do, just know I've been clean for years and never would use drugs with or around my daughter. That chapter of my life is closed. But if someone would have told me this was a possibility, for her to have to face withdrawal like this... I might have had an abortion

EDIT* Thank you everyone for the kind words. I didn't expect so many of you to come together to help me feel better. It is greatly appreciated. As for my dose being lowered: its actually against medical advice because it could cause withdrawal and early labor. My dose will actually have to go up because I'm starting to get sick at night and in the morning now. Once she's born I'm hoping to lower my dose, bit by bit, and then finally be free of these liquid handcuffs. Thank you all again so much!