Help please

A bit of back story (long read I’m sorry)

So last year I had three miscarriages, the fist one I found out at 12 weeks, the second was ectopic at 7 weeks which resulted in me losing my right tube and the third I had a scan at 6 weeks 2 days and then bled at 9 weeks and was told that the heart had stopped at 6weeks 4 days. I have suffered badly with mental health since and had antidepressants and sleeping tablets and suicidal thoughts with not much help from the meatball Heath system. I have now been told that I cannot get help from the recurrent miscarriage team as I need to have 3 miscarriages in a row and that they don’t class an ectopic as a miscarriage:….

Me and my partner decided to put the breaks on trying so that we can sort out our mental health and focus on my weight loss as I have put on a lot of weight this last year. But the other day we were “having fun” and got caught in the moment (3 days before ovulation) ….

Now I’m in a constant state of anxiety and I don’t know what to do as I’m scared that I’m going to be pregnant but then if I don’t get pregnant I’m going to be upset…

Any advice is appreciated