Hi all,

I searched and searched for a perfect group to put this in, but I literally couldn’t find one, so please don’t tell me I posted this in the wrong group :(

I’ve suffered from quite a few mental illnesses and I’ve been on my fair share of medications. But the one thing you can’t put on a “happy face” for, is when you genuinely dislike your body.

I thought it started because I was a teenage girl and I was going through a phase where I just didn’t understand my body, or look like the other girls, so I was unhappy. I’m 23 now and I still hate the way I look.

Last summer, I was on a medication called Geodon (a mood stabilizer) for about 3 months. Within that 3 months, I gained 30 pounds. Mind you, I’m 5’1 and I’ve always been around 120 pounds, even on a bloated week. So now I’m 150 pounds and teetering on that. Currently weighing the heaviest I’ve ever been in my entire life..

At first it was hard to see the number on a scale, or to know that I’m technically “overweight” when it comes to BMI, but it really started to hit me once I noticed that none of my clothes fit. None of my shirts, none of my jeans, none of my shorts, even my bras became too small.

I feel like when I look in the mirror and I see a stranger. I’ve always had a little bit of stretch marks, but this is the most I’ve ever had and the most visible they’ve ever been. Keep in mind that I’ve never been pregnant / I am not pregnant right now.

this is the right side of my lower stomach / waist:

and this is the left side of my lower stomach / waist: (I’m laying on my back in this one)

I know what I need to do. I know what I want to feel like. I just don’t know where to start...

I have support, I have the tools to succeed, I just need my depression to allow me to feel motivated for once, and for my anxiety to allow me to not care who’s watching me at the gym.

I am my biggest critic, hater, and fan all in one.

Please just send good vibes, motivation, love and maybe even some recommendations on any creams or lotions that do good with lessening the appearance of (dark) stretch marks

Thanks ladies