SORRY THIS IS LONG! 😅

In October my husband and I are going to a wedding. The wedding had been postponed a year due to covid and is for his best friend (basically a brother to him). It is also 19 hrs away in his home state, my husband’s family still lives there. However, the wedding is about 1 hr or so away from their home. Our son will be 10 months old & the wedding is adults only. It’s also an evening event.

Originally this trip was going to be a vacation & wedding event. My family (parents & sisters) were going to travel up for the week as they’d never been to the state & wanted to spend time with everyone also. The plan was my mom would watch our son during the wedding/ overnight. My husband and I work nights currently and when we both have to work my mom watches him so this is routine for him.

My husbands mom got very upset and said she wanted to watch our son instead. She’s only met him on 2 occasions and he doesn’t know her very well unfortunately due to the distance.

However in May, my husbands family came down to visit. We decided while they were here his mom would watch the baby while we went out/had a late night to see how comfortable both were. I was hesitant at first because I’d only met her a few times, but got over it and agreed. Those plans fell through due to constant arguing between my husband and his parents. They kept cancelling plans with us, threatening to leave early, and refusing to spend time with our son.

I’m still not quite sure what caused all this, but I think it’s a mix of them living far away & being upset they missed out on things and emotions being high (which obviously happens with the distance) and his mom saying I “don’t trust her” with the baby. This is not true at all, but she could not be convinced otherwise.

The trip ended with them not saying goodbye to me or my son (he was only 6 months old, but still) and my husbands mom taking him outside and giving him a list of reasons she hates me. She said she would never come back to visit and she’ll only ever see our son if we visit her.

The trip in October has changed a bit. My family is no longer coming bc his parents made it clear they don’t want to see them. My husband hasn’t talked to his mom since they left because she doesn’t want to apologize and says she wasn’t wrong for the way she acted.

Even after all this, my husband still is saying his mom will watch our son while we go to the wedding? I’m so uncomfortable with this. She was extremely rude to me while they visited, and kept taking her feelings out on my son. She also straight up said she hated me. Plus the fact that my son doesn’t really know her. I guess I need help. Do I just stay in the hotel and not go to the wedding? Do I let his mom watch our son? Am I wrong for feeling uncomfortable?

**edit to add: this is also our family vacation. 10 days long, we haven’t changed the timeframe. My husband is from New England (where this is at) so we’re using this as a vacation along with the wedding.