39 weeks it’s so close and ???

I can’t do it. What ? Me ? Someone’s mom?

And by myself. It’ll just be me and her and I have to be good enough and strong enough and happy enough and I have to give her a great life bc she didn’t ask to be here and she WILL be here and once she’s outside of me she just keeps growing and never stops and is a whole person. I’m .. panicking..

nothing will ever ever be the same.

Once she’s really here.. I will never be alone and free to mess up and not have my life together and live spontaneously and carelessly. That’s all over now. Which I know is good.. it’s about time I get my shit together. But it’s still so scary to say goodbye to living life the only way I knew how to. All the changes I’m just. I have been nothing but excited this entire time. And although this was unplanned pregnancy, deep down I’ve always wanted to be a mother. I was always waiting for this moment. And now that I’m so close I am terrified. I don’t know if I’m ready? I’m wondering if I was really meant to do this? Should I have done this?? Does this make me a bad mom already?? Is it normal to feel this way... is this a sign of impending PPD or something????