need advice..

so my husband wants to try anal and I want to but we've tried and it wasn't very successful.. So since then we've tried a few things, we've tried working towards being able to have his penis in there but whenever that times comes, it's like the fear of pain overrides the sensation.. We've tried some toys and its amazing but as soon as we try to have actual "sex" it freaks me out.. Any recommendations on what to do, any advice?