I'm a very spiritual person as far as it goes with my faith. Or I was. My husband and I lost my and our first child, this child I've been praying for since I, myself, was about 6 years old. It's been almost 3 months since we lost him/her. Most days I feel like I can't breathe, the days are a blur, and I feel so betrayed by God. But I keep it all stuffed down most days. I was crushed the moment we lost our child and I'm still completely crushed 3 months later... And on days like this I just break down and cry a lot.. I overthink about it and it hurts so fucking much, dude, and I just can't wrap my head around it. I can't have good happy ok feelings about this like a good Christian. My soul is fucking crushed and there's nothing I can do to repair it....

How do I cope? How do I get over it? How do I move on? How do I tape and glue myself back together again if its even possible?