Any advice for depression during pregnancy?

bri

I’m 18 and 18 weeks pregnant with my first. Ive suffered with depression for about 5 years but it was pretty bad freshman year. I attempted suicide and luckily failed. I’ve been pretty good up until I got pregnant. I thought I was over the self harm and whatnot but now I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m not at risk I know myself but I feel lost knowing if I did something it would be hurting my baby too. I think not having my own body to control is what is causing me to think about it. I have a whole human being to care for and I can barely care for myself. My doctor recommended I go back on Zoloft but I don’t want to since it took so long to get off of it last time. Anyone know what might make me feel better?