All these people i know are annoucing their pregnancys latley. As much as im happy for them im aslo finding myself hating them and thier happiness that im not deprived of having.

I have a full time job

I have a home of my own

I have a long term relationship

I dont do drugs or drink alcohol

I have so much love to give a child and yet its just not happening for me :'(

So many people out there having babies and not even wanting them or looking after them properly to live thier own lives makes me so mad.

My partners sister who we dont have contact with has 2 young children and doesnt want or look after them and kicked the pram with her child in it!!

Why is she aloud them and im not?

I dont believe in god if he is real why would this be happening to me and so many more who feel the same way and would kill for a child of your own. I hate life at the moment i work so hard and so everything i can to finally be someones mummy even if its only once i will always then be blessed with my creation that i can help grow into a wonderful person and become someone special. My miracle.

I dont exactly no why im even posting cos nobody ever seems to comment and help with my feelings. Everything is just a big waste of time right now. Just wanted to share my feelings with you all and give a insite on my life.