Am I being the bad guy? (Please read full description)

Question

My mom has never met my kids. I mean they’ve FaceTimed & talked on the phone, but they don’t really understand who she is, not like they do with their Meemaw who lives like 20 minutes away. My oldest is 3 & my youngest is 15 months (he’ll be 17 months when we go).
We’re going to visit in October & my mom is under the impression that’s she’s going to be allowed to just take my 2 children & keep them overnight. My mom lives an hour away from where we’ll be staying when we’re up there visiting for my best friends wedding. 
She’s has declined every single offer to meet them before now & has come up with every excuse in the book not to follow through with plans. Additionally, there are some very bad people my mom is friends with & related to that I have made very clear that I don’t want having contact with my kids that don’t live far from her house at all (10 minutes TOPS). I don’t trust her to respect that boundary. She’s already given one of these people my phone number & I had to block them to stop them from contacting me. 
It’s so hard to set hard boundaries with family without feeling guilty… Am I being the bad guy here or???

Answer

Why is she still under that impression? Put your foot down and TELL HER that she is not keeping your kids without you and that you don't trust her to respect your boundaries and rules for them. They are YOUR kids, not hers.

Answer

Tell her ahead of time absolutely not. If she can’t respect that, don’t even see her.

Answer

No, you’re protecting your kids.

Answer

Tell her ass no 🤷🏼‍♀️

Answer

Nope. You aren’t a bad guy. My dad hasn’t met my son either (11 months) and I have zero intention to since I know he won’t respect my boundaries. You need to listen to your gut. If she cared to meet them, she would come to you on your terms. Not expect you to bring them to her and then just leave them with her when she’s essentially a stranger to them. And never mind that she thinks an air mattress is acceptable for a 1 year old. Nope. I wouldn’t trust her judgement on that. 
When my dad was harassing me about the baby, I blocked him. He’s unblocked now but took 6 months to take him off block and re-open the relationship. Don’t feel guilty and do what’s best for your children.

Answer

Nope! You need to let her know now, before you even go, that they will not be staying over at her house. She can get mad or whatever, oh well.

Answer

Never feel bad about protecting your kids from potential danger ever. No matter who they are.

Answer

This is about your kids safety. Take precautions as you see fit. You’re not the bad guy, your just trying to protect your kids. Tell her that these are the facts and that if she doesn’t respect them. That she would never be allowed to see them until she changes. I wouldn’t leave them alone with her at all.

Answer

She can’t do anything without you allowing her to do so. She can be under whatever impression she likes but at the end of the day, no one can just take your kids with them without your permission. If she argues just say “I told you they wouldn’t be staying the night. I don’t let my kids have sleepovers yet.” Done. No one is a bad guy for saying what they want.

Answer

Being that your kids are so young and COVID has been happening since 2019 COVID-19. Maybe that can have a reason why she never got a chance…. 
Why don’t you just speak to her. 
Ask her why haven’t you met my kids 
Who will you bring around there
Here’s who I don’t want around them 
What will they be doing
What r u going to feed them 
These are your kids. You should ask these questions regardless.

Am I being the bad guy? (Please read full description)

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