After my 18 week loss I am so afraid to try again.

Just an emotional rant: Ive had several early losses before and they were obviously horrible and have gone on to have 2 healthy daughters. But On July 30th I was 18 weeks along when we found out my daughter didn't have a heart beat and she stopped growing at 15 weeks and that hands down is the worst thing I have ever emotionally and medically had to go through. I just had my appointment with my OB to finally do a bunch of testing and genetic panels that I cant get done until september. And although I am so grateful to get this testing done I am so anxious to get the results. I feel like regardless of what they will be, wether it be everything is fine and it was a random loss or if there is a problem with my self or husband nothing will make a difference in when we start to try again in a few months. I feel like as soon as I get pregnant I will just be anxious and potentially unattached to the pregnancy and not even enjoy it.

I am just so anxious and almost dreading this process and it almost makes me not even want to try again just knowing what we will go through, regardless of just how much I want our 3rd baby.