I’ve been so depressed. My husband has two teenage kids. They are truly amazing. We get along very well. It breaks my heart that I’m considering divorcing their father, because I’m afraid it will hurt them, and I will miss them so much.

But my husband and I just aren’t working out. I feel like he can’t even see me. He doesn’t touch me or notice me. We haven’t been intimate in over a month. I also feel like I cannot talk to him, because every time I try to have a serious conversation with him, he will either just stare forward and it’s like talking to a wall, or he will turn it around and tell me everything I’m doing wrong, and make me feel like garbage for voicing how I feel.

He’s already had so many life experiences, and I’m sad thinking I’ll never experience these life events myself.

I don’t have children of my own. I really would like to try. He doesn’t want anymore. This house is covered in baby pics, and photos of them when they were younger. I’m already 36. I don’t have much time.

I know I should leave, but I don’t know where I should go. I have no family here. I’m tempted to move back home, which is 500 miles away. But either way, I’d still have to take the time to date again, find a new guy, try for a baby… plus my career is here… and I’m already so old. I wish I’d realized 10 plus years ago that I’d want a child. I didn’t know I could have kids because some Asshole doctor told me I couldn’t. But then just over a year ago, I had surgery, and my new doctors said that I CAN get pregnant!

I feel so stuck. I don’t know what to do. I’m falling into a depression, and I can’t seem to make it stop. When I wake up, sometimes I’m upset that I woke up at all.

Does anyone have any kind advice? Please don’t rip me to shreds. I’m already hard enough on myself.