I Have No Means to Leave

I have been reading posts on here about stories similar to mine and all the advice given, has been to just leave. What if you don’t have the means? What if you’re the sahm or have no financial means to leave?

I am in a very tough place. I am a sahm mom and have been for many years. I am currently pregnant. I have zero means and no family to help me out. I cannot leave. Since finding out about this pregnancy, my husband, who has always been kind of a jerk, has become unbearable. At first, he wanted me to get an abortion until he saw the baby moving on the ultrasound. Then, shortly after he began to spew so much hatred towards me and has even become a bit physical (he’s thrown things at my belly). Because of how tense things have become, I’m in a constant state of stress, which has me convinced he’s trying to get me to lose this baby.

Tonight, for example, he started a fight over how overcrowded our attic was and how he expected me to go up and take boxes down to throw stuff out. I told him I couldn’t because they are too heavy, so he said he would. We have a six-year-old Autistic son, so I said I’ll do it once school starts. He freaked out and said I was being lazy. Then looked on the calendar and asked which day school starts, I told him and said he would know if he took some interest in the things myself and the kids do. He went on a rant about how he’s the bread winner, and how great he is and how grateful I should be. By the way, we own a business, I do all the marketing, phone calls and accounting, so I work for him or better yet our family, I don’t make a dime but he’s the bread winner? After the argument, I went to leave the room and he was making a hand gesture, as if jerking off. I told him that was disgusting and I hate when men degrade women with vulgar gestures, so he said, “ you like that? Here’s an even better one!” He continued with the gesture but came over to me and pretended he was getting off all over me. He’s never done that before. I hated feeling that way, it disgusted me so badly!

Later, I went downstairs again to get a water and he was smirking at me. I burst into tears and told him I was disgusted by how degrading he was towards me and how I’d feel that way if anyone had down that time. He called me crazy and psycho.

Now, I’ve been crying for hours. I knew since I got pregnant and how our marriage has continued to spiral, that we were never going to be the same but I feel he crossed the line and enjoys having a hand up on me.

Just a bit more detail. My husband is not a man that like weak people and I think he sees me this way. I try to avoid him and fights but he corners me and gets louder and louder until I respond he way he thinks I should. Trust me, I want to leave but I have no means. I need advice on how to set boundaries and how to get him to take me seriously. He sees me as weak because I’m the default parent and house keeper and his maid. Please no rude comments.! I’m already upset and pregnant, I don’t need anymore criticism tonight. I’d appreciate honest help with my situation.