No strings attracts with co worker

I been sleeping with this guy I met at my job. It was supposed to be all about just “having fun” at first. We both had just gotten out out of long term relationships. We both had kids from these previous relationships. So we both understood the stress of being in one and just wanted to have fun with each other without all that.

At first this was working fine for awhile actually. We would do our thing and pretend everything was normal while at work. Never acted to clingy at work so no one would know. But, I ended up liking him more than I thought I did. And I realize this because one day, another one of my co workers was telling me how she thought he was cute and wanted to try and shoot her shot. This really pissed me off and I actually had an attitude with her the rest of the shift. Also, he can be a bit of a flirt himself and draws a lot of attention to himself, especially our women staff.

Now, even though we work in different departments in a hospital, we happen to end up working in close contact of each other often. In turn, I get to watch women literally throw themselves at him and honestly, I know he enjoys that attention. I also know for a fact he’s sleeping with two other co workers just base off conversations I’ve had with other co workers. Though he enjoys our time together, he definitely doesn’t like me as much as I like him. He still doesn’t want a relationship, but now I’m starting to only want him for myself. And I’m becoming extremely jealous.

I’m really disappointed in myself for even getting involved in such a situation, but I was just trying to distract my mind from my ex and now I’ve hurt by a totally different situation. I haven’t fully expressed my feelings to him about this, but I know he knows. He jokes about it all the time. Me being in love with him. I’m still sleeping with him and hanging out when we can. Mainly because he calls me, I try my best not to go, but I honestly think I love him. I don’t know what to or what steps to take next. I just want to cry and it’s so much other shit going on. Nursing is a stressful job in itself. Im a single mom to three young kids. Just so much going on.

This has honestly made me really depressed, and I don’t know what to do. He’s only the second person I’ve been with. My heads all over the place.