When my boyfriend would come to my house. We would sometimes start to make out and he would try and put his hand down my pants and take of my shirt. The first time he try to take off my shirt I stopped him the second time he succeeded. The first time he try to put his hand down my pants he also succeeded and try to stick his fingers up there WITHOUT TELLING ME. and I jumped and said no. But then after that he would always try and put his hand down my pants and I would always stop him but he would force it and fight with me. He never did make it after that. Then one day he asked me to give him head. I’m not really into that stuff (I’m more of a cuddle/chill girl) but he would KEEP on insisting and I tried it and I didn’t like it but he would keep insisting and would force my head near his (yk). This went on for a week. He would always come and ask and I would tell him “I don’t want to” or “I’m not in the mood” and he would still force me to do it. I also have a guy bsf who is his bsf too and I was going to talk to him about what has happened the following week. Then the following week. We were laying in bed, making out and then he was like “Let’s just do it”. I always was scared to have sex cuz it’s my first time and I know that hurts the first time. I was like “I want to but then I don’t” and he was already getting ready with the condom. He was the one who took of my pants. I was still not so sure about it yet. When he started putting it in. It really hurt so I told him to stop. He stoped and was like “again?” And in my head I was like “let’s try it why not.” So I shook my head yes. And he tried again and it still hurt. After a while of trying. I lost interest tbh. So there I was like “I don’t want to do it” and I would shake my head no. But he would say “come on we are already here let’s just do it” and whenever I would close my legs. He would forcefully open them. And I kept on fighting with him and at one point it looked like he was getting annoyed that he said “I’m about to just shove it” and I got scared and closed my legs. Nothing was happening and he gave me a ultimatum (like always…he was always like that when he asked for nudes too. If I don’t do something. I would have to send him a nude EVEN THOUGH HE KNEW I DONT SEND THOSE and NEVER WILL and ofc I never did…thank god. Also other one was if I don’t do something he would be like “oh then we have to do “training” which was sticking fingers up there) and it was that either “suck it or shove it” and I said “neither” but he was like “you have to do one” anyways. At one point I just sat on the side of my bed looking at the floor. I didn’t want to see his face anymore and I didn’t want to do it. And he lay down on my bed and wanted ME to get on top and stick it in. He pushed me back and near him and told me to do it. I already lost COMPLETE INTEREST but he still kept insisting. He was like “one last time and that’s it” I tried and it still REALLY HURT NOW. And I would sit next to him and I would just shake my head and I clearly said “I don’t want to do it” and he was like “cmon!” Or “one last time” (which was never the last time) And I put my hair down cuz it was a mess and he was like “better put that hair up before I stop asking if you are okay..” and I got so scared that I put it up. (Damn I’m sobbing just writing this) and there my mom started knocking on the door and we started putting on our clothes and my mom opened THE LOCKED DOOR. And found us and then it was a whole thing and I was fine at first (cuz I’m the type of person who it takes a while to process things and I was more focus on us getting caught then what has just happened) and it hurt down there too. when I saw my guy bsf that same day…..I completely forgot to tell him but I opened up to my other close guy friend and I remember what happened that morning and he told me that that’s basically rape and I was like well there was no penetration. And he was like yea but still he forced you to it. And then later that night my mom told my dad and my dad came into the room and I spilled everything. The whole truth and he told me that if my mom wasn’t in the house and we would have be alone. He would have raped me cuz he was just scared that I was going to scream. And it still hurts even tho it was like 2 weeks ago. Was that really rape or attend of rape and a abusive relationship? Or what? Help me please. Give me your opinions 😭😭