Anyone else just love 🙄 their in-laws…… ugh.

So my husband and our son share a birthday week. I’m absolutely not hosting 2 parties though my husband and I do go on a date to celebrate our birthdays together in our birthday month. We keep parties fairly simple with dinner, cake and ice cream. I host and invite everyone over, we do gifts from mom and dad on our kids birthday day and then cousins and grandma and grandpa sometimes bring a gift during the party but it’s not expected. For my family if you make it to the party (or any event for that matter) you make it, if not we’re all still family no big deal. My brothers are all in public service and it’s not uncommon for them to get a call in the middle of dinner and have to race out the door and who knows when they will be back. We all just deal with it. They’ve even left their own birthday dinner because of calls. We don’t schedule around their shifts unless it’s their own birthday or their own kids. I also absolutely do not expect anyone to take work off for a birthday party it’s just not a big deal to me or anyone in my family.

My husbands family wants me to reschedule the entire party around my sister in laws husbands schedule. he’s a nurse. If we don’t do this it’s absolute proof to them that we love my family more than we love them even though at least one of my siblings for sure won’t be there because they’re on shift too. My sister in law wants to be the one to name the day and time of the party which I think is absolute crap.

The other side of this is that I’ve had the same schedule for almost 8 years I get off later in the evening and my sister in law (who doesn’t work) will inform us the night before of a birthday party that starts hours before I’m off work and then she flips when I can’t be there or don’t go. If I had notice I would maybe arrange to be off work in time but her parties almost always start at 4:30. I don’t get off until at least 6:30 and then I have a 30 minute drive to their house from my work IF I go.

It’s exhausting trying to keep her happy and when we do our own thing anyways it’s exhausting dealing with the fallout. My family almost never has drama and she seems to dig it up at every turn.

They have advanced notice - I’ve told them the day and time at least 2 weeks ahead. It’s a day that works for me and my husband (who is working 60+ hours a week and going to school) We’re doing it on a weekend and honestly we don’t really care who comes, I mean I hope people show up for my little man I won’t be upset that her husband is at work and not at our party. If I don’t move it, she won’t come and if she doesn’t come my mil won’t come. And if she doesn’t come my fil won’t come and so on until the only one who may show up is one of my husbands brothers 😂

Am I being unreasonable in putting my foot down? It honestly makes me just want to not invite them at all because she always manages to turn it into about her.