am i normal??

Question

i dont like to hang out with family members..i dont like my mom..she is toxic and a liar..we never had a good relationship..she decided to have a good relationship when i left the house (i got married) but she kept fuking up so i stopped being around her..i do have 3 siblings..my oldest brother he is more reserved he dont hang out with nobody he dont even go to family events..my younger brother we are close but hes 23 and do nothing but party so i bearly see him..and my sister shes 11 and of course she just on her tablet..lol..so what is the point of being around them?? i mean if its a party or whatever yeah ill go but other than that iam not going to her house..my dad is in jail..my husband often gets mad that i sometimes dont want to go to my moms house when she is having a cookout but idc..and aunts and unckles or cousins i really dont care for..so i just like to be alone or just be with my husband..so i was wondering if this is normal??or do i need to go to therapy..like right now my grandma called me and told me to do a cookout this afternoon at my moms house but i dont want too

Answer

I wouldn’t be around them either tbh. You don’t have to do a cookout with them.

Answer

I would say it's a mix of two of the answers. You don't have to be around people you don't want to be around, even family. BUT it's good to know why and if it effects your relationships with others as well. I grew up in a toxic and abusive household and developed shit coping skills and I was an abuser towards my now husband and children. I felt it was normal because it was my normal growing up. I didn't see much wrong with it until I lost custody of my kids and started therapy. I take full responsibility for my actions and I acknowledge that it was because of my upbringing/environment that shaped me to be that way. It's ALWAYS a good idea to seek therapy if you have been subjected to any form of abuse. It not only helps you now but it helps those around you and your future prospects of having a fulfilling and healthy life moving forward. You are reacting to your traumas in a healthy way by distancing yourself from the source(your mother) but therapy can supplement that by giving you tools to help you heal and prevent from being exposed to more people like her in the future

Answer

It very normal to not wanna be around people who doesn't really wanna be around you as well.
I will say however, that you saying your youngest sibling is 11 and is always on the tablet so what's the point made me stop. 11 years old is still a kid. I'm sure support from older siblings could be nice, but if any of you barely have a relationship with each other it is obviously hard.
You grew up in a shitty household. It's normal to not wanna be a part of that. But there might be some things you need to work with.

Answer

Even though you don't like her much, you only get one mom. And when she's gone, you might wish you had spent more time even if it meant biting your tongue and just going around her every now and then. Idk, that's just how I feel, bc my situation is similar. And yet when I think of her not being here, it's sad. So... I suck it up and make the time we do spend pleasant and better than the time before. It's ultimately your life and it's short. Spend it how you want.

am i normal??

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