Im just going to make this one post. Last week I was put on antibiotics by a doctor for a (most likely) UTI, and I just finished them last night. I feel like it hasn’t completely gone away, as I’ve waken up in the middle of the night with a need to pee frequently, and a small amount of pain.

Now I’m anxious because I know the antibiotics didn’t work completely, and I always think worst case scenario.

Here is the main part that is making me cry out of anxiousness. When I was younger, after my first boyfriend, I had unprotected sex with 6 different people over the span of three years. I never took a STI test, but they always told me they were clean. Sometimes I wonder “what if I got an STI like gonnorhea, and now I’m infertile because I wasn’t treated.” I feel like shit, and I have panic attacks alone at night about it. I am way too scared to tell my mom now, I’m afraid she’d look at me different. I was just in such a bad spot, and I’ve never been open about anything with my divorced parents.

What also makes me sad, is my boyfriend who I’ve now been with for four months makes me so so happy. What if I am infertile, and because of that I’ve ruined something beautiful. As soon as I go to the doctor, I’m going to tell them about my concerns, but I just needed to air it out somewhere. I’ve prayed and prayed, and I just hope everything is okay. I just need support until I can talk to my doctor. Unfortunately it is 5 am on a sunday, and no clinics are open today, and tomorrow is labor day. I just feel so alone, like there’s no one I can talk to. I feel terrible. I do not want to talk to my boyfriend about this at all (we’ve always used protection btw). Anyways, if someone responded that would be appreciated, if not just typing this felt a little better.