Step-dad being called grandpa...?

Question

A little backstory: My mom and I struggle to get along. We just have such different personalities that it's very hard to have a relationship with her. She's currently on her 3rd marriage. She dated the man for 1 year and they've been married for 2 years. He seems to be a nice guy but he and I have no relationship beyond casual friendship. He's never attempted to get to know me better and I know nothing about him.
Well my mom has picked out her "grandma name", Mimi. She's asked that her new husband be called Pawpaw. Sorry, I just can't... I have a wonderful relationship with my real dad and he will be called Pawpaw. I don't want to be rude to him but what else can my child call him? He hasn't been in my life long and who knows how long my mom will keep him around. I don't want my kid being confused on who her family is.

Answer

I don't want my child calling his step grandparents by anything other than their names. Even tho my mum has been with her husband 17 years he isn't my babies grandad, and I never refer to him as my stepdad, I just call him his name. My grandmother remarried when I was 4 and we never called her husband grandad, just used his actual name. For me, my parents are my babies grandparents, anyone they are married to is not, so it doesn't feel right to me to call them anything but their names.

Answer

You could call him grandpa --------- (whatever his name is) which is what I'll probably call my step dad! Even though he pretty much raised me since I was 7 I have always called him Rob. So he will be grandpa rob. (Which I always call him when talking to my dogs around him! Haha! So baby will probably call them what the "dogs call them."

Answer

I think it all depends on the situation and the people in it. There are a lot of wonderful step parents out there that are much better parents to their stepchildren then their biological ones. My father in law got remarried in May of this year to an amazing woman who has embraced his family like it was her own. My step son started out calling her by her first name, and once we saw and experienced the type of person she is, he calls her Grandma Mary and so will this baby. My husband's mother is a dead beat alcoholic who we refuse to let have a part of our lives.  On the other hand, I understand your feelings in your situation. This guy hasn't been in your life very long and hasn't made any effort to try and be family to you. I don't think I would be too keen on the idea of my kids calling him anything other than his first name either. My dad actually just got married to a woman he barely knows. She seems like a very sweet genuine person, but I do not want my kids calling her grandma or anything like that, at least not for a while because I barely know her myself. Bottom line, if the step parent is worthy of the title, give it to them and be thankful your child has one more person to love them.

Answer

I understand you completely! My SO has a woman who he refers to as his second mother, who he wants our child to also call grandma. I'm totally AGAINST it. The woman doesn't like me for one & for two ever since SO and I have been together she has down talked me. Anyway, if your mom hasn't had marriages that last, I wouldn't be expecting this one to last and I wouldn't want my child to call her husband pawpaw either. They don't need the confusion.

Answer

My son has 6 grandparents because I left his father for a man more willing to be a father and more loving towards me. He calls them all grandma or grandpa, it's more for the child's sake than theirs in my opinion. Children like to know they have many people in their life who love them. Even if the man doesn't, having a title gives your babe significance for another human. :)

Answer

My partners Grandmother married a man named Nigel when my partner was a child. He has never called him Grandad, only by his actual name Nigel. There is a 10 year difference between him and his twin sisters so they are 13 now. They would call Nigel 'Da Da' because when they were toddlers thats what they said for Grandad. Well being 13 years old they still call him Da Da now. The Grandmother tries to encourage my almost 2 year old son to call him Da Da. It really annoys me because its too close to Dada and my son didn't 'invent' that word himself, plus my son doesn't need to say it as he can say Grandad. I always refer to him as 'Grandad' in cards or infront of him. If my son tries to call him Da Da at any point I will correct my son to say Grandad. 
If you only want your father to be 'pawpaw' then perhaps Gramps or something for your mothers husband? Sometimes kids will even invent a name theirselves for people ☺

Answer

My dad has a daughter, my half sister, and her son call my dad "Papa Memo". He calls my mom "Dory" (he can't say Doris yet). He calls his actual grandma "Mama _____(I can't remember her name).

Answer

I never had step-grandparents but I did have a lot of non-blood relatives.

Growing up in a Filipino culture, everyone that your parents are friends with automatically becomes your Auntie, Uncle, Lola (grandma) or Lolo (grandpa.) We would just put their first name after their title and that was that!

The same will be with my child and my friends. I never thought it was strange, I always just thought that I had a HUGE family!

Answer

I have no problem at all with my child calling his step grandpa some version of grandpa. As well as my dad. Maybe not the same version, but that wouldn't really bother me. But kids can always use more attentive loving adults.

Answer

Kinda in the same situation, by biological grandfather has never been in my life until now. He is remarried to a very nice woman and has been for quite some time. To me and my child they will just be D and H (their names). The man that raised me as his granddaughter gets the privilege of being a Papa. I was very honest to him and his wife as to their relationship with my children.

Step-dad being called grandpa...?

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