Expectations

So I’m seeing this new guy who keeps urging me to not have expectations. We’ve been talking for over a year but decided to take it to a romantic level. It’s long distance, we haven’t met yet. We are meeting this weekend. I told him I’m not comfortable having sex yet. He’s assured me he isn’t just wanting sex, but due to my past with using sex as a way to keep guhs around, I’m just not able to cross that line until I know we are equally (or close to) emotionally invested in each other. He told me it’s not fair for me to expect him to live up to my expectations and thag I shouldn’t have any expectations at all. I told him, he has every right to not live up to my expectations just like I have a right to be dissapointed. He says if I don’t have expectations then I won’t be dissapointed. But I’d rather be upfront with my expectations that way I can work through my dossapointment and readjust accordingly. I also don’t feel like not having any expectations at all isn’t very realistic. But idk, this is my first relationship after my divorce and I’m trying to not make the same mistakes….should you not have expectations? Is that the healthy way? How do you just…not have expectations? How do you turn them off?