Yesterday we had an intern with our midwife who was allowed to "take the reigns" for the appt. It was the second time I'd met her (the first being last week) and I've had a relationship with our midwives since week 5. I chose to go the midwife route because i want as holistic as possible of a birth. This intern however, she was overly clinical and fear mongering when talking to me about chemical/hospital induction. She was condescending when my midwife mentioned natural induction methods (laboir cocktail etc) and said "do you know what a stillborn is?" When talking about being over term and going the non chemical route. I felt put in a corner. I didn't like it... she triggered some feelings for me and wouldn't let me get a word in edge wise.

During the physical exam when finding the babies head she touched me in a "no spot" (I have a spot that will make me vomit if someone I don't trust touches me. It's on my hip) and I mentioned it and she did it seemingly purposefully again.

Her agressive approach to dealing with me made me feel so so sick and I feel could be the reason that I was closed up tight as a vault during the pelvic exam. I couldn't believe any of what I was experiencing and am still feeling quite sick about it. I spent the next few hours crying and mad.

I made a list last night of all the things that upset me which I plan to present to my midwives on Sunday. I don't want this lady at my birth and I wish I had the guts to have told her off instead of clamming up so bad.

Sorry for the rant. Being overdue sucks.