Can’t orgasm by hand

I’m so jealous of the women that can use their fingers to orgasm. I HAVE to use a vibrator. I’ve gone weeks without using one in hopes to lower my sensitivity and I’ve even tried differing motions, and techniques and even got sensitizing lube and nothing. What’s the trick here? Do you rub above your clit or the actual clit? I can finish with a toy in 2 mins but when it comes to my own hands I spend 30 mins and I just get wetter and wetter which is great. I just never finish. Any tips would be appreciated.