Would you be mad?

Question

Today I gave my son a haircut and he isnt a fan of one. He loves and cries a lot which led to an uneven haircut but barely noticeable unless you look closely. So my mil saw it and waited till I get out of the house to cut my son's hair. And caused a huge size bald spot!!!! I came home and saw this. She didn't even bother telling me the mistake and act like nothing happened. Mind you this is the second time she tried to cut his hair. The first time she did, she did it without cleaning him up after! She didn't even bother telling me about it so when he had lunch all his cut hair was falling into his food!!!! I wasn't happy about it and told her please do not cut his hair and that ill do it. She said it was long and making him sweat a lot. I didnt intentionally let it grow out. It is just horrible experience for my son everytime he cuts a haircut. He cries blardy murder every time. I feel like it is traumatising for him so I don't do it often. Even when I do, after that my mil was like you should cut it this way that way and that she has done it for many years for her son(my husband). This happens everytime after a haircut. Like I am not doing a good job. He's a baby that moves so much and she expects perfection from me. She highly believes she can do a better job and look what happened she cut a bald spot. I'm so mad that she has disrespected me by not listening to me when I said dont cut it anymore. One is that she never cleans up after and hair gets all over him. She doesnt even bother cleaning it. I was so upset that when I told her off she acted like nothing happened. What's worse is that my husband just stood by and never stood up to me. (When I asked why he didn't he said he wants to choose his battles and what happened wasn't worth it. So mad) i was so upset that he didn't defend me which got me angry and I said I'm angry about this whole situation to my mil. Guess what she replied well im angry too because you are telling me off. WHAT IN THE WORLD. Please tell me im not being overly sensitive.

Answer

Definitely not. If my MIL did anything without asking me first, she'd be getting her ass told real quick, same goes for my own parents. 
She had zero right to alter your child in any way without parental consent. And your husband needs to grow a backbone and stick up for you because while it might not have been his issue, it clearly made you very upset and you and your child are his family now.

Answer

Your the mother, it's your choice in what you do with your child, you've told her not to and she did. That is not okay at all, I would let her know that what you say goes, if not then he doesn't have to see her....

Answer

You’re not. Get her out of your life she doesn’t respect you as a mother. My MIL pierced my daughters ears twice after both times we said we didn’t want it. Second time she did it with a dirty earring while drunk and her friend held down my baby and my baby had marks all over her. She’s out of our lives and his whole family hates me for it. Idgaf. Should’ve left her alone the first time she pierced them

Answer

I dont blame you for being upset. If she wanted to help, she could have offered to help distract him during his hair cuts. 
The hair cut itself isn't what would upset me though. I'm sure she thought she was helping. It's the attitude towards you that would bother me. When you bring up something like this, she needs to acknowledge what you are saying and change her approach. If she continues, I would start ghosting her. When she comes over, go for a drive. When she wants you guys to come over, send your husband and go somewhere else. 
For the hair cuts. My middle child HATED haircuts too. I found a kids haircut place near by that helped a ton. It was a little more money, but my son loved it. He sat in an airplane and watched cartoons. Some have suckers on hand and extras if they get hair on them. For a while I used smarties. I would give him one at a time while they cut his hair. Worked like a charm. 😁

Answer

I would be mad trust me. But I wouldn’t dwell on it for too long. You said your piece I would move on from it now. I wouldn’t bring it back up again. If you keep being upset about it after the fact you do look overly sensitive. If she continues to do that then I would say you let not allowed to be alone with him anymore as you can’t seem to respect me as his mom so I no longer trust you.

Would you be mad?

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