Why do we have to act unbothered?

Question

Maybe I don’t understand the psychology of being the better person bt I feel I shouldn’t have to hide my hurt from an ex that did me wrong. I hear it all the time “wish them well” “don’t be messy and share your business”. Like why? Why should I have to peacefully move on and act unbothered when he and everyone who’s close knows what he did. Now I won’t be revengeful as in try to hurt him bt I have posted memes and thoughts how on how shitty he was and thats looked down on why? Im human. I should be able to feel how I feel. Why should he get to be back on the scene partying and with no one knowing how shitty he is and like life is great. Everyone flocking to him and females begging to be with him like it just seems u have to suffer in silence so I’m tryin to understand this.

Answer

You don’t have to act unbothered by what happened. You have every right to express what you’ve been through. But trying to expose that person isn’t going to make you feel better, we think it’ll make us feel better but it does nothing. Moving on and letting go of pain isn’t you doing them a favor, it’s you doing yourself a favor. You don’t have to forgive, but forgiveness gives you the ability to move on.

Answer

Because most people when they see turds 💩 they dont need u to tell them its a turd😩.
    Focus on your self love and healing. Post things regarding that. Post generalities and inuendoes lol… so u dont look bitter i suppose. I think people just see it as unbecoming.

Stuff like this sends messages indirectly. But honestly the best revenge is finding happiness and love. Get u a therapist to vent to… not social media. Half people nosy, other half dont care, and future emoloyers dont need to know your business. Your thoughts and heart are private in my opinion

Answer

I get what you mean.
My ex and I have been together 12 years, he suddenly broke up after cuddling on a Sunday (free day for us). Saying the whole I want our friends to stay our friends blah blah.
Then he fed them lies about how much each paid for rent and so on (I am a student and working, I paid 40% of rent, heat, WiFi… and 80% of food).
About 9 months after a guy friend of us invited everyone for his birthday and told him that’s we have to figure it out between ourselves. He wrote me asked if I wanted to go and I said yes, was planning to and if it would bother him. He: no it’s ok.
Yeah so we went, I made sure to look good, showing I lost wait but being in no way overdressed or anything, having a good time. He left early. 
Texted me the next day if I found it weird to. I wrote him: No Chris I did not find it weird. We were sitting around, even talking one on one, not just in the group. We said they would stay our friends so it is unavoidable that we have to interact. It is over for me, we have been together for a long time. Why shouldn’t we be able to talk? I wish you all the best and hope you find what you are looking for.
This shut him right up. There is nothing untrue in there, nothing that would make me look bad but still shows him up.
Sorry this got long but I thought maybe a story about how others handle it helps?

Why do we have to act unbothered?

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