Neither of us know how to leave. Idk if it's bc i can't find the confidence amidst the confusion or the fact that he moved to TX from WA to be with me in July of 2016 and at the time had no plan for the future (he didn't disclose this until this year).

I was 20, him 21 at the time.

By that July we had been in a long distance relationship for 7 months.

By 10/2016 i found myself accidentally pregnant bc we were both uneducated with how pregnancies worked and he never pulled out and he stopped using condoms everytime

Like a month in :/ I'm embarrassed about that.

Same thing happened by 11/2018 and i got pregnant with our 2nd.

I've tried having civil conversations with him about breaking up respectfully and co-parenting healthily.

But he won't listen to me or will get so overwhelmed he has to step away to collect himself, which is fine, but most times than not i find myself repairing his hurt feelings while putting mine to the side :/

This morning i displayed some toxic behavior, that i am working on mentally, and he got so hurt he said he wants nothing from me, not even to make him dinner. And he went on through texts to say how he's tired of the way i treat him (bc of my ADHD, PPD, PPA, and sexual abuse throughout my childhood, and have had a mirena IUD for two years).

I've apologized to the best of my ability but he's not taking it. We have had talks of growing together, mentally and emotionally and i have agreed but our inner children fight a lot :(.

Not to mention, within this passed year he has come out as being polyamorous or polygamist. He doesn't know bc he's still figuring it out.

I've told him that I was and still am monogamous and might consider it in the future but not for at least another 5-10 years.

We both cannot afford proper therapy/counseling as I'm a stahp and on his income.

I'm embarrassed and shocked at how far this is all going. If you made it this far thank you.

Sorry for the grammar, I'm on mobile and it's hard to think straight.