As a parent... WWYD?????

Question

I broke up with my ex and the father of my oldest child 5 years ago he cheated with the woman he is currently with. There was some drama for about a year then didn't hear from him for 3 years then he pops up wanting to be a dad again.
My daughter is 13, we have no custody order she goes with him whenever she feels like it. Everything was normal until yesterday she came home from school PISSED! The gf had used all of her hair products, worn her accessories even her shoes she went to school looking like a troll doll her words. The flood gates opened she started telling me about this woman's microagressions, how she purposely excludes her from their family activities and takes her things all while her dad does nothing!!!!!!
I feel ashamed how did I not sense this? I knew that woman was unsavory just didn't have the proof. I talked to her dad he's a lost cause but she has declared she never wants to see him again. Idk what to do besides comfort my child 😕

Answer

If Dad refuses to put his girlfriend in her place for the sake of his relationship with his daughter, that is his loss and I dont blame your daughter for wanting distance. He could at the very least talk to his gf to please be more mindful of your daughter's things. If she wants to use something of hers, she needs to ask....her being a kid doesnt excuse her from using common decency.

Answer

Ugh. Just awful that full blown adults can act this way. Shes 13, so old enough that can decide if she wants to see him. Just follow her lead, listen, validate her feelings. Try not to shit talk the dad and the girlfriend. My parents had a pretty sloppy ass marriage/divorce but they never shit talked each other to us and I think it made a big difference in how we all coped.

Answer

Unfortunately if the gf is more important to the dad then there’s not a whole lot u can do besides comfort her and support her, whatever she decides. At 13 she is defo old enough to know her own mind. 
As tempting as it may be, don’t badmouth dad (or even the gf) to ur daughter as things do change and at some point she may want to reconnect and that will be a lot easier for her if you’ve been supportive without venting ur anger to her. I totally get that is hard as u must be livid with them. 
It’s good that she has u there for her

Answer

I would confront them both and if she continues to do shit like that and the father allows it then she will no longer be going over. She shouldn’t have to hide her shit just so another person won’t use her stuff without asking. Like wtf? Is she broke or is she just being a bitch. Cause it seems like a mixture of both and the sad needs to grow the fuck up and lay down so ground rules. It’s like why is she over then if they aren’t even including her in family shit? I’m not gonna have my kid feeling unwanted and crying over THEIR shit being used without permission.

As a parent... WWYD?????

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