Fighting about baby and finances? Help?

Question

Hi I am 32 weeks. My husband and I just got in an awful fight about finances. He is going on break tomorrow and I mentioned how excited I am to go baby shopping with him. He got mad and said, "I pay for the insurance." This is true, he pays for the insurance. I appreciate it a lot. I just want him to help me pay for some baby things. I probably spent 1500 dollars of my savings on baby things. I was hoping he would at least help me buy some final things like a bath tub and some towels. If he doesn't want to pay for them I would at least appreciate a ride to the store because my back is killing me. I told him that his physical help would be appreciated.

He has been yelling at me all morning because he thinks that he doesn't need to do these things because he pays for my insurance. He is calling me nonstop and yelling at me to apologize to him. I don't think I have to apologize. Did I do something wrong?

Answer

When you're married money stops being yours or his. It both of your money. That's the point of marriage.

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Why is your money separated? In all honesty that sounds like a major problem

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I honestly couldn't imagine how I would feel if my husband didn't see OUR child's needs as his responsibility because he "pays the insurance" that's absurd to me. He sounds like he's being a total asshole & I'm so sorry you are going through that!

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Your marriage is your marriage so y'all do it how you want to do it. In the end just work it out! People can tell you over and over how marriage is supposed to be but they aren't im your marriage. We probably all do things with our husbands that the next woman may not approve but it's between 2 people not the world. Don't go fighting you babe cause you start thinking about what someone else says yout marriage should be. Tell him how you feel about the baby. Let him know that you are greatly appreciative of what hes doing as far as the insurance goes and yall come to a mutual agreement. It's not worth fighting!

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He is being an ass. This is why in my marriage everything is joint. I could never handle that sort of attitude. I mean what happens when the baby is born? He will buy diapers so he never has to change any? Or he will pay for the child's insurance so he never has to actually help take care of the child? Where does it stop?

Tell him you are BOTH doing your part financially, but he is failing to be supportive and interested. He needs to get over himself and get with the program.

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In marraige you have too look at the money as you both made it. It's joint. NOT sperate. It's strange how he views it like that. And "your" insurance? Everyone has to have insurance... 
He seems like he is being an ass. Prolly hormones... haha, yes men get them too!. Let him yell, it'll hit him that he is being an idiot sooner or later. When your mad you're justified. When he cools off he'll see that he is raging over something so.stupid haha.

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Agree to below post, myself & my boyfriend aren't even married but he still says his money is our money, & it's for OUR baby

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Sounds pretty immature. He's your husband, he should be working and earning money for HIS FAMILY!

From what you shared I can't see where you said or did anything wrong that would warrant an apology. I'd sit him down and ask him plain and simple what role he thinks he has in yours and baby's life. If taking care of THE FAMILY needs aren't a joint effort to him, I'd ask him what he expects, then. Based on his response I'd make my choices on working out a compromise you're both comfortable with, or I'd strongly consider a need to step back from him and the role of being his wife. If he's going to hold over your head what he does as an excuse for why he feels he shouldn't contribute more, I don't see how that's healthy and not likely to result in creating a pattern of expectations. If today it's about paying for your insurance, tomorrow it'll be about something else and you'll likely have no help in areas that are vital for a healthy and balanced lifestyle and relationship.

Getting this sorted before baby's arrival would probably be wisest. Inserting a child into that is just going to lead to more drama and stress for you. These are just my opinions and what I'd do in your situation. Go with your gut and really decide for yourself what you want and think is best for you and your child, and then be confident in that. You're not wrong to expect equal input from him.

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Ummmm no. You have nothing to apologize for.. and if he doesn't believe that then let him read these comments so he can see how many woman besides yourself agree with what your feeling. (Realistically tho if u show him these comments he will most likely get more upset, cause he will be mad u brought ur problems online to strangers, but that's just an excuse so he can still go on being mad and thinking he's right) so maybe showing him the comments isn't such a good idea. But yea.. the baby is his, right??? So he should be OFFERING to help u out with the baby stuff too reguardless of whether or not he pays insurance. It's kinda his responsibility to pay for the insurance.. but if helping him pay for that will make it easier for him to help u with the other things too than I guess do that! I dont think the man should always have to pay for everything, but a good man tries to do his best to take care of all his child's needs & his girlfriend too. If he thinks him paying the insurance and u paying for everything else is a 50/50 split then he is greatly mistaken!! The cost of insurance alone doesnt even touch all the others costs he's left you with! And your busy raising your guys child so ur not gonna be able to work as many hours as he can. Ask him if he would rather switch rolls & let him be the one raising the baby 24/7 while you get a job, and u pay the insurance while he tries to pay for everything else on his own! He would learn real quick how unfair he is being! He needs to help u out with the baby items & anything else that comes up! If he isn't willing to support his own child further than what he is doing now then maybe he doesn't deserve to spend as much time with the kid. If he wants to be a dad than he needs to step up & be a part of the difficult parts as well & not just enjoy all the fun parts but leave all the difficult parts to you. Just my opinion.. but I doubt ur gonna hear anything very different from anyone else. Good luck sweety.. I'm sorry :(

Answer

What about your baby shower? You may get a lot of stuff then too.

Fighting about baby and finances? Help?

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