Birth Trauma @41+6 (only last 2 images are TMI)

As this was my third birth and my first had already been traumatic, I thought I’d be fine, i thought my first two births were from one extreme to the other. So I made a very detailed birth plan with a plan for everything from when to talk about induction while I’m still pregnant to the possibility of an emergency cesarean.

However nothing went to plan and it was so traumatic that I didn’t even want to talk to the dr or midwives afterwards.

It’s now 4 weeks later and I still haven’t had a decent cry about it all but I am still healing from what happened. (I will show a photo from my first borns birth at the end)

This was me after I had her, after she had been taken away and assessed to make sure she was ok, breathing fine, and that she didn’t have any broken bones.

My girl was born on the 5th of November at 11:47am, she had no more damage then a bruise on her left shoulder, but it wasn’t an easy birth mentally or physically.

The day prior I got a call “I just noticed I have an appointment with you tomorrow but I also noticed how far overdue you are, would you like to be assessed tonight and if we need to we can induce you tomorrow”. I got assessed, asked them to do a membrane sweep again and we stayed in the hospital overnight just in case.

Unfortunately I didn’t go into labour so at 8am the next morning the midwife checked my cervix again and broke my waters to start the induction process and 2hrs later I agreed to go on a pitocin drip (which I honestly regret) and I asked for gas just before going into the birthing phase.

When I was birthing her, I tried to be on my knees and eventually the dr asked me to lay on my back so he could check how far she was accurately because it didn’t seem to be progressing, from there I couldn’t get back up and ended up birthing on my back once again.

My baby crowned fine and her head was half way out and suddenly she got stuck, the dr asked if he could do an episiotomy which I didn’t want so I told him no and kept pushing until she went into distress.

Now this is some of what I remember and what I couldn’t see/remember that my partner told me.

My baby’s heart rate dropped to around 60bpm, the emergency button was pushed and the dr was being told by a midwife to do an episiotomy without my permission. The dr ended up telling me “I need your permission to do the episiotomy or she won’t get out” I cried and said “ok just do it”. After cutting my perineum the dr had to reach past her head and pull her arm out to try to get her shoulders to turn enough to become unstuck and be born but it didn’t work. While midwives, nurses, paediatrics drs, etc. we’re all rushing in, I had two people pushing on my lower abdomen to try to help the dr to get my daughter out.

When she was born, I heard the dr saying “clamp the cord, just clamp it” I’m not sure if someone was mentioning my want for delayed cord clamping but he had them clamp the cord and even though my partner was right there next to him he cut the cord himself.

My baby was bought up to my head so I could see her then rushed to the other side of the room to be assessed, all of this was before I even heard her cry.

Once she was assessed she was handed back to me and I was exhausted, I was put on a drip and just layed there for the next 2 hrs throughout being stitched up and assessed while I tried to feed my baby, traumatised and unable to even cry. I honestly just wanted to be left alone

This girl is now 4 weeks old.

When I birthed her what happened was called Shoulder Dystocia, which is where the anterior shoulder (front shoulder) gets stuck behind the pubic bone because the baby hasn’t turned enough, it happens in anywhere from 0.3-1% of births and is more common in overdue induced births. In cases like this it is common for the baby to be born with a broken arm or clavicle due to the efforts to get the baby out safely.

Here is a photo from my first child’s birth. His head got stuck due to my perineum not stretching and while after his birth looks more traumatic then hers, his birth was no where near as traumatic or as painful. I think about it this way, I could smile after his while I was still laying there in pain, after hers I was distraught and didn’t even want to talk to or see anyone.