How do I tell her?!

Question

So my friend got pregnant and had a miscarriage around 7 weeks. That was four days ago and since then she has been really withdrawn and depressed. Well... I just found out I'm pregnant. She's my best friend. How do I tell her?!

Answer

Tell her after your first trimester is done

Answer

I agree she needs time to heal. And that can feel hard to do because later on you don't want her feeling like you were hiding it or not being honest. So to avoid that you can write her a letter. Explain to her how  this is hard for you because you care for her so much and only want to help her feel better right now .. And keep it. once you have finished your first trimester and you have told her, show her the letter to her help see how much you really do care about how it might have affected her when it was so soon after her loss.

Answer

Give her time! My sister in law and I got pregnant at the exact same time and i miscarried around 6 weeks. She would constantly talk about her pregnancy to me and ask me for ideas on how to announce to everyone. I was generally so happy for her but every time she brought it up It would just remind me of what my reality was. And not only that she ended up miscarring also 3 weeks later. It was a terrible time in our family. I would wait awhile. atleast till your second trimester. Right now it's so freash. Just give her time and I'm sure since she's your bff she'll be happy for you! Good luck!

Answer

I sort of had a similar experience. My friend and I both suspected we were pregnant, and so agreed on a day to test over the phone together (we don't live in the same town). We both or very faint positives. Two days later I had a miscarriage. It's definitely not easy, but you want to be happy for them, even though you're sad your own didn't work out this time. I think the letter could be a good idea, and I think she does need some time. It's very hard to hear some things after a miscarriage (I couldn't handle things that were even said the wrong way in a comfort effort). I think time is good.

Answer

Give her time to grieve, and support her, then tell her when she is stronger. Don't hide it from her, but just use your best judgement.

How do I tell her?!

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